We are the profiles we’ve created for ourselves with the help of outside influencers, but what happens when we either voluntarily or forcefully remove our profiles and no longer are the person who we thought we had become? How do we untangle everything that came previously and created our profile?
I’ve been actively exploring this question since I left my fancy corporate job last May. The first few weeks felt like nothing more than a vacation, with the feeling that email piles and conference calls would soon start up again. It actually took a few months to get untangled from the regimented work schedule where the rhythms of one work week often mirrored the next. Post-job, I no longer had a schedule or work plan dictating where I needed to be and what I needed to be doing. It was up to me.
It was easy to keep my mind occupied at this time because we were trying to finish the Airstream renovation and prepare our house for sale and/or lease. I thought about work now and again, but it was quickly fading into the past. My mind had pretty successfully become untangled from the knot that had formed over the two previous years.
The next untangling came when I had to figure out what I am now. I’m no longer a consultant, no longer corporate management, and I’m no longer in the high tech world. From some perspectives, I lost the identity I spent the last ten years creating.
Recently, I updated my Linked In profile to say “Explorer”. I was a little nervous doing so because it was such a far leap from what was there before. However, the title felt suitable because that’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re exploring life on the open road as we take our Airstream across the US and Canada. We’re exploring different ways of living as we meet new people and hear their stories. We’re exploring our future and what we want to do with our lives.
I think untangling is a healthy process and biologically we have a deep need to do it. It happens automatically at night when we burn off the memories of the day which we sometimes remember as dreams. We also assist our natural untangling more purposely through meditation, yoga, running and other activities. Some religions or ways of life like Buddhism teach untangling as a very important exercise for our minds.
When I was in college, I was a co-director for Camp Cowboy, which was a freshman orientation camp to help students get ready for college life. My co-director and friend, Doug, had the idea to have each of the freshman write down what they were, or their “profile”, in high school. He then instructed them to throw it in the fire because they were leaving high school and the profiles/stereotypes that came with it (good or bad) and starting anew. Maybe it should be as simple as that.
Maybe in addition to an Explorer, I’m now an entrepreneur. As I learned in consulting, sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it.